Sunday, March 21, 2021

Victimhood Is No Excuse

As many writers who are not me have repeatedly observed, victimhood is the new path to power. If you can claim it - no matter how flimsy your case - a significant swath of our media class will immediately genuflect and permit you to do basically anything you want. Want a 100% discount at your local Target? Just say you're a victim of -ism and "capitalist exploitation" and said media class will look the other way -- or even applaud your revolutionary spirit. Want to knock down a competitor whose talent outclasses yours? Ditto. Want to be an absolute piece of garbage in your daily interactions with your co-workers/neighbors/fellow citizens? Yep: the victim card works for this as well.

I know that individualists and heterodox thinkers the world over are perturbed by the now widespread idolization of the victim because it clouds our ability to think rationally. But I don't know how many of these commentators are as viscerally disgusted by this trend as I. Whenever I see someone parlaying their victim status into a cushy sinecure at the top of the moral authority mountain, the anger I feel is profound and honestly difficult to describe. And the reason for that is really quite simple: I know a victim - a real victim - who has never done this. She is my MamaGeek.

MamaGeek grew up in a deeply troubled home and was subjected to emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her father. (Normally, I would not disclose this sensitive family information, but earlier today, I asked her if I could share her story for the purposes of making an important point, and she gave the okay.) Needless to say, she came out of that hell with an eating disorder and what would today be diagnosed as a case of complex PTSD. She was, to put it mildly, not well-adjusted by the time she got married; some of my earliest childhood memories involve MamaGeek getting very, very upset and locking herself in the bathroom while Dad slipped her M&M's through the crack under the door in a kind of peacemaking gesture. But here's the thing about MamaGeek: she didn't let this become her identity. Instead, she sought therapy -- and spiritual solace. She worked through her baggage, focused on building the best home - and best marriage - she could, converted to Catholicism, and developed her talents as an artist until she was winning local and national awards for her costume designs.

MamaGeek was dealt an absolutely crappy hand; despite that, she's exercised her own damned agency and has made her life a basically good one (even if chronic illness now limits what she can do). So yes: I instinctively recoil whenever someone tries to sell me the gee-Officer-Krupke excuse. No: even if you have been beaten into the ground, as long as you're cognitively intact, you do still have the power to change your circumstances at least to some extent and you should bloody use it. This idea that we should celebrate people who leave their wounds open and suppurating as badges of honor is, quite frankly, an insult to all those who've quietly stitched their own injuries mostly shut and gone on to contribute as productive members of their families and local communities.

MamaGeek would never use her childhood to manipulate others into doing her bidding and ignoring her personal faults. And that's why when others were riding to AOC's defense because of her alleged sexual assault - just to take one recent example of victim-coddling - I refused to play along. Based on what I've heard, it sounds like AOC was genuinely traumatized by whatever it was that happened to her. But if that's the case, she should get help like MamaGeek did. She shouldn't use her experience as a shield against any and all legitimate criticism -- and she certainly shouldn't use it as a cudgel to attack her political opponents. 

Even if you're a victim, you still have moral responsibilities. That so many have forgotten this is changing our society for the worse.     

No comments:

Post a Comment